Yard Work

 I detest yard work! I figure that God knows better than I how to deal with growing things, so accordingly, I leave Him to do as He wishes with the patch of earth between the street curb and my front door.  Of course, my home, with its six inch stand of straggler daisy punctuated by stalks of johnson grass, does stand out a bit from the well manicured lawns in the neighborhood. 

I had noticed some of my tonier neighbors looking askance when they strolled past my place, and I swear that their noses grew an inch whenever I nodded a greeting in their direction. Being the sensitive and perceptive galoot that I am, I soon realized that they were not particularly pleased with my lawn maintenance practices.

After considerable reflection I stumbled upon a perfect solution. I went to the local sign shop and had them make up a sign that I promply installed in front of my house. The sign, with a suitable "green" graphic background proudly proclaims "URBAN NATURE PRESERVE AND WILDLIFE HABITAT".

So now my social status has changed from "Neighborhood Reprobate" to "Leading Environmental Activist".  Ah..., it feels good to be on the cutting edge of societal evolution!